A little nonsense, and something serious....

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

How very appropriate. I had actually considered dying my hair pink (or at least part of it) a few years ago. Then I started nursing school, and that was that. So I got a tattoo instead.

School is seriously kicking my butt. I am not doing poorly, however, I can't keep up with all the reading at the moment. The balancing act of life, work, family and school it a bit too much. I feel like if I only had another 6 hours a day when I was not working and not sleeping and not exhausted, then I could get caught up, and maybe even a little ahead.

It is bad that I am feeling so burnt out at the half-way point. I don't want to go to school any more. I've been going for 4 years already. I don't want to get up at 5:00 AM on Saturdays for clinicals, when it is dark outside, and my family is all snuggly and right there. I don't want to have to tell my son, "I can't right now, I have to study." I don't want to have to miss out on doing things with my husband and child, because actually, I really could use the time they are out of the house to get more studying in. I want to have a few hours to clean my house, put away the three baskets of clean laundry that has accumulated in my bedroom, to read something that is not a text book, to work out, to do anything not school or work related.

I have heard that after completing this semester, I can sit for the LPN test. I have considered it. Working three days a week, having whole days not working free to study. Then I think, am I really ready to take that on? I don't know. I don't know if I have the skills yet to be a NURSE. It scares the crap out of me. At this point, I feel like I am pretending to be a nurse at clinicals. Yes, I am taking care of this patient, and bathing them, and making their bed, and changing their dressings, and giving them their meds, and tending to their needs. But I am sure the "real" nurse has to go in behind me and fix all the mistakes I have made. I have the skills, but lack the confidence.

Before I came to the University, I had worked in a place for so long, that I was the go to person. I was an expert in the company, on running the office, everything. Then I left, and came to this totally foreign environment. I felt lost, and clueless. Now, it has been almost a year that I have been here. I feel 10000% more capable and knowledgable. I am a go to person, again. When I leave here, I will be starting all over again, again. That is scary.

We are still doing the group nursing thing at clinicals. I am finding more and more who I work better with. There is one person that I worked with this weekend, that I would never want to work with again, because that person is dangerous with meds.

They could have, potentially, bottomed out the patient's pressure with a mistake they made by giving clonidine that was supposed to be given overnight that wasn't, and they gave the med (not listed on the MAR, but in the patient's medcart tray) along with another antihypertensive. Her pressure, did drop very significantly (179/82 down to 99/66), but then stabilized. This was after they had already made two other medication mistakes with other patients. Dangerous.

I'll stick with my best friend, Kim. We work pretty well together. She is really type A, super neat and anal as all get out. I am more laid back in my personality, however, we are both very careful when it comes to patient treatment. We foil each other perfectly. Kind of like the Odd Couple. She is Felix to my Oscar.

Class tonight. GI. Ho hum. I hope to get out of this slump, soon.

W. :)