All I want for Christmas is....

everything.... and nothing....

I have an Amazon wishlist 7 pages long. I am constantly adding to it. I even have it split into a variety of categories. (Shiny Pretty Things, Miscellany, Music, Movies) I would love to receive anything on it. However...

Whenever I am asked by anyone what I would like to receive for Christmas or my birthday, I answer nothing. When pressed, I'll just refer them to my wishlist.

Why do I do that? Why do I feel guilty asking for something that I want? Why do I feel that having something just because I want it is a bad thing? Like, I should only ask for things I need, like garbage cans, a stove, and paint. So, if I don't ask for that, am I bad, selfish, irresponsible?

This started the year I got married. I went through the trouble of registering for my wedding. I picked out what I wanted to have for my home. Instead of receiving the things I requested, I was given crystal and silverplate. I was told, point blank, that they did not like what I had picked. Not one thing I picked was ugly, or extravagantly priced. If anyone knows me at all, they know I am not a crystal and silverplate sort of person, and to give me such things is a waste of money. I was really very hurt by the blantant disregard for my preferences.

Therefore, I ask for nothing. Risk nothing, lose nothing.

W.